Wedding

Megan turned down Jim's proposal. It was romantic: a legal prenuptial contract with a ring.

Ah, how sweet. But I couldn't. She kissed him.

He was amused by her politics and rudeness now, but for how long? She and her first husband had spent one week making seashell crafts, mocking Megan's mother, who had come to visit before Jason was born. Deep breathing? Hell, no, Mom. I'm using arts and crafts to take my mind off labor.

Jim didn't have that kind of humor. He left for a week to negotiate a contract. He was surprised that she had turned him down. He was determined to win. How could she explain to him that she was too old to get married, that she had her pension, her house, and her son, and didn't need a husband? She simply couldn't. He didn't understand.

My socialist girlfriend, he said fondly.

But now Jason and April wanted a big wedding. The last wedding Megan had gone to was Rose’s to Ben ten years ago. That had been a very nice party on a houseboat, but the ceremony had taken about two minutes. A nice ride on the river. That was her kind of wedding.

Her soon-to-be daughter-in-law April watched Four Weddings and A Funeral and My Best Friend's Wedding over and over. Look at the church, look at the clothes, look at London! That was her generation--watching films again and again--and the film was April’s role model for a wedding. She wanted a hat and dress like Andie MacDowell’s or Carmen Diaz's. She wanted Jason to dress up like Hugh Grant. She wanted a group of friends in the cathedral. it seemed that April knew somebody who had gotten them a wedding date in April. When you were a police officer, you knew people.

April had ordered the dress from anexpensive catalogue. It was very white. She looked fleshy and rotund in it. Not very bridal. But she loved it. Jason looked unremarkable in his tux.

Where did you get the money for that dress? Can I help you with it? Megan asked.

April looked embarrassed. I've been saving my money.

April and Ben would invite: the newsroom and the police force. The two families. Who were their intimate friends? It looked like Megan was it.

As Megan watched Four Weddings and a Funeral with April, she felt despair. April and Jason weren’t as cute as Andie and Hugh. Who looked like Andie MacDowell? Nobody. Especially not April. Who looked like Hugh? Much as she loved her son, the answer was: not Jason. She felt their marriage was doomed.

You know you don’t have to get married just because you’re pregnant.

We know. But we think it will be easier, don’t you?

We want to get married. Don’t worry about it, said Jason. Don't be so rude.

Was I being rude?

Jason said, You're always rude.

April laughed. You should marry Jim. We could have a double wedding.

For a minute Megan thought April knew about Jim's proposal. Then she joked, Please, no. I'm not getting married. Fat old women really don't.

And then they had to say she wasn't fat. Nobody understood her jokes.

It seemed April was five months along. No wonder she was so fat in her police uniform! She was not naturally a fat person: Megan had now seen pictures. It was April's dream to be a mother and a cop, married to a metro reporter who would work the day shift. She would work the night shift so the baby, named Vivian, would never be in day care.

Megan wasn't sure it was her dream to be the granddaughter of a cop-Metro reporter.

April hung around reading Bride Magazine and showing Megan snapshots. Megan had to look at pictures of the fetus. She almost had a heart attack. No, that’s a cliché. But why did people want pictures of their fetus? You couldn’t see anything. It was just a...fetus. But it was named Vivian. it turned out it was Jason’s favorite name. Why? Why had she never known that about her son? She just felt startled by the whole thing. She couldn’t see why they had to have a big wedding. She didn’t understand why her son wanted to get married in a tux in a church to a woman in a white dress.

They were hanging around her house one night watching TV. Megan had not seen so much of Jason in years. April liked her. It was very entertaining for her to visit a woman who seldom cleaned her house. Newspapers everywhere. Biographies of Upton Sinclair on the dining room table. Upton Sinclair was going into the socialist book. He had run for governor of California on the socialist ticket.

April laughed when she saw Sinclair’s book, I, Candidate for California and How I Got Licked.

What are you doing with all this stuff?

I’m writing about socialists. it’s something to do. Read that one for me, will you? Tell me if it’s any good.

April sat down and read part of the book. She was not a socialist, but she was cheerful about Megan’s socialism. She liked Upton Sinclair. She read The Jungle when Jason told her it was really journalism.

Where did you grow up? California? Why are you so happy all the time? Megan asked.

April laughed. I’m just that way.

Jason was pooped. He insisted that they watch some political humor thing on TV. Megan didn’t think it was very good.

It’s not CNN.

I have to watch other things. I have to keep up, he said.

Why? Megan honestly wanted to know. Why did he have to keep up when in the newsroom he was researching internet sites, watching TV news, and interviewing people all day long.

it’s just...a thing. it’s like your socialism.

Socialism. That had been a problem when she met April’s parents. She and Jim, who had been out of town for work, drove over to April’s parents’ house for dinner. Megan had dressed in her most conventional velvet skirt and white blouse. April’s mother and father were waiting in the doorway of the suburban house. Hyacinth and What’shisname? It had been a while. At dinner, a delicious lobster dish right out of the Lucia books (did Megan dare mention Lucia?) they talked about their country club and their hustling for the Republican party. Jim jabbed her, but too late; she said that she was a Socialist.

Megan knew this was the wrong thing to say as soon as Jim jabbed her and Jason kicked her under the table. She was sorry when she saw April’s face. But why hadn’t they warned her.

If you don’t vote Republican or Democrat, it is just a throwaway vote, said April’s mother.

I agree, said Jason.

So do I, said Jim.

Now she was outnumbered. Megan liked speaking out. It was part of her modus operandi: speak your mind.

Not necessarily. The whole thing seems to be fixed anyway. Look at 2000 and 2004. You vote your conscience. If your conscience says socialist, you vote socialist.

But, Mom, what about Hillary? You said you like Hillary.

I do like Hillary, she said pleasantly. I haven’t decided whom I’m going to vote for. It’s too early. I compare all the candidates next year when it’s time for the primary and then I decide. I don’t vote for president in 2007.

So you don’t automatically vote Socialist?

She’s a Democrat. She’s basically a Democrat. I happen to know she voted for Kerry in 2004, said Jason.

Megan kept her mouth shut. It was best not to speak TOO much.